Answered Prayers.

To be completely honest with you, this whole bailout thing is exactly what the American people need.  It is what I need.  I label myself as the problem in the economy.  I have debt.  None of it bad debt but debt is debt.  Seeing that the U.S. Government wants to bail these rich guys out that made a mess at Wall Street does not surprise me nor does it make me ask, "Well why don't they bail me out?"  However it does make me ask the question, is God answering our prayers?  Scary thought.

For the longest time now we (American Christians) have asked God to come back to our land. We have begged him in song and in prayers and in liturgies that we sense His absence here so we want Him to come back.  The thing is, we expect Him to fall in line with the American way.  I know, I know, here I go again talking about God not being an American or doing what we say.  But seriously, we have prayed for Him to do His will and He might just be doing that.

With the fail of the passing of the $700 billion bail-out or "rescue plan" flat out scares me.  But what scares me even more is God actually answering our prayers.  His way is the best way, I know that.  But God doesn't have an agenda that looks like ours.  His "bail-out" plan might look a lot like us not getting into debt and a lot of people at Wall street going bankrupt.  It might even mean us getting a little uncomfortable.  

So I wonder, is God answering our prayers?

"I believe in the American people.  I believe we can do without a lot of what we have.  I believe we can say no to credit.  I believe we can live on very little.  I believe in the American people." - Glenn Beck 

Running from what I know. (Part 2)

The sound the floor made as Chloe stepped off the last step into her living room reminded her that her children were still sleeping.  She slowed her pace as the wooden floor seemed to grow louder with every step as she thought, "this next step won't creak as loud".  She stopped upon entering into the kitchen to listen for the cry of a baby she had just laid to rest after a morning feeding.  No sound.  Only the sound that the coffee pot made as it started it's early morning routine of brewing the eye-opening Italian roast that Jonah and her drank quietly every morning as she read from the Psalms and as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and allowed the words to sink deep along with his Italian roast.  Chloe was reminded of Jonah's absence as she listened for his footsteps that followed her every morning into the kitchen but she heard only the sound silence makes.  This silence was different.  It seemed louder than normal.  She longed to hear the statement he made every morning come from his mouth.  He would wrap his arms around her, kiss her on the cheek and say, "I love you to the moon."  She mouthed it as if to fill some kind of void in the empty and silent kitchen.  

Chloe watched the coffee maker brew the coffee in anticipation of the first drink that often burned her tongue but was too good to pull away and often brought tears to her eyes.  As it finished it's duties, she poured herself a cup in the mug that Jonah usually used, the one that said, "World's best dad".  Jonah would use that cup every morning and after he drank two or three cups, he would go through his routine of washing it out and leaving it in the one place Chloe hated, the window sill that sat above the sink.  There were water stains from the many times he would leave his cup upside down to dry in the morning sunlight.  Chloe made her way out to the porch that wrapped itself around their house like a pair of arms that held the house tight and secure.  The sun poked it's light from the east and painted the many houses on their block.  The morning dew that had fallen seemed to look like a million diamonds catching the sun light and sending it in thousands of directions.  The symphony of light blinded Chloe for a moment as she sat in the porch swing that hung from the ceiling that loomed over her.  "Lord, I really need You right now.  I feel like I'm losing him" she said as a small tear escaped from her eye and ran down her cheek and onto the wooden floor.  She wrapped her hand around the chain that held the swing wishing that it would respond to her pain.  Chloe gathered herself and continued to pray, "This is all he knows, Lord.  Give me an answer, please, I need to hear Your voice".  

The sun was now warm on Chloe's face and seemed to give her some kind of comfort but made the reality of what she was facing cold in the same moment.  "God, make me believe because my heart is not in it right now."  she said before she finished the last few sips of her coffee.  Mr. Williams from two houses down drove by and Chloe tried to make herself invisible by wiping the trails that the tears had made just a few moments earlier.  She kept her head down and her eyes fixed on something small and red that had blown onto the porch.  The sound of Mr. Williams car was now past Chloe as she quickly looked up hoping he hadn't pulled into the driveway wanting to know if she was ok.  She saw his tail lights glow red as he stopped at the stop sign that sat on the corner where the neighborhood kids waited for the school bus.  The sound of his engine revving as he mashed the gas pedal was the last thing Chloe heard before the silence that followed her in the house out onto the porch broke with a voice that said, "In whatever you do, he is yours, you are his and you both are Mine."  Chloe kept her head down and said, "Yes, Lord."  Tears were now falling steadily from her eyes, ran down her chin and with each one that fell it seemed to give her some kind of relief.  Some kind of closure.  The voice was gentle and warmed her to the core.  Deeper than her Italian roast could.  Deeper than the smile of their newborn baby girl.  Deeper than her own husband.  She tried with all she could to remember exactly what the voice said.  She tried her best to compare it to any voices she knew and none of them came close.  

Chloe wiped the tears from her eyes and looked to the edge of the porch where she had fixed her gaze when Mr. Williams drove by.  The thing that had caught her eye in those earlier moments blew towards her.  As it neared her feet she could now see that it was a small red feather.  She picked it up and as she held it the comfort continued, the comfort that she remembered feeling when she heard the voice speak.  Chloe stood and walked into the house that was now stirring with sounds from the upstairs.  She took the feather and stuck it in the last place her and Jonah had read in her old, desperate bible.  She placed it near the middle knowing that when Jonah came home they would once again read from the Psalms...           

I'm coming out of the closet...

This is a post that might send some of my friends to jump-ship as soon as they finish reading it.  No, I'm not pulling a Ray Boltz and saying that God made me gay.  Relax, I'm straight and love my wife in a very sexual way.  Wink, wink.  Anyway, this post is going to be political.

Now that I've lost half of my audience, let me tell you what is on my mind.

I am going to vote for Barack Obama in November.  I have read many blogs of people that I really look up to and some that I don't agree with and have come to this conclusion on my own.  I support Barack and what he is trying to do.  I have issues with the Republican party and because I am a christian it doesn't mean I have to be a Republican.  There are so many things that are broken in both parties, that is obvious.  The thing that I like about Barack, over my extensive research, is that he stands for people.  Not just the average American but for people who are suffering all over the world.  It's time for us to take a stand and fight for a cause that is greater than ourselves.  John McCain actually said that. (He's a neat guy to and I respect him greatly. Kudos on the woman VP nominee as well.)

There are so many ideas running through my head at this moment on what kind of responses I will receive for this post.  The thing is, you don't have to agree with me.  It's ok that we disagree on political issues.  

Here is one thing you can't disagree with.  (I guess you can if you want.)  I believe Jesus would be crucified faster today than He was back in times of old.  I say that because Jesus came and challenged everything they (we) knew with truth.  Please don't think I am calling Barack Obama Jesus or "the savior" or anything like that, but I am saying that he does challenge what I think a President should be like or look like.  It almost makes me uncomfortable because he is black and has a "scary" name.  But I like it.

These are not the only reasons I am voting for him.  I have my reasons.  You don't have to vote for him and next time you see me I promise I won't be wearing a "Vote for Change" shirt.  I'm not going to try to talk you into anything but it feels damn good to get this off my chest.  Thanks for listening....

Note:  I do realize there is a HUGE issue with the "homosexual" and "abortion" topics.  These have been beat to death in my opinion.  The democratic party and my reasons to join them does not come down to two controversial issues.  Feel free to leave comments but please, do not be argumentative and ugly.  Thanks. -ricky g     

Running from what I know. (Part 1)

"You realize the more and more you think of this the more of a reality it could become?" Jonah thought as he rubbed his arms and crossed them across his chest to shield himself from the the crisp breeze that seemed to blow in some type of rhythm.  He stared out into the dark campsite that sat silent and contemplated going to bed but he hated the thought of moving from this spot that had given him comfort for the moment.  Not that that this spot was special, because it was just a patch of cold, dry grass that lay on it's side from a long, dry winter, but because it brought some type of solace and when things around you do that, they become part of you, at least for the moment.  "This is all you've ever known.  What else would you do?"  Jonah told himself trying to remind himself of a reality that was waiting for him when he arrived home from this minister retreat he was on but the moment in which he found himself seemed too real and it seemed like someone else was planting these thoughts in his mind and they were taking bloom one after the other.  "I can quit and find another job pretty easily, at least I think I can find another job."  The time Jonah had spent in church ministry had proved fruitful and successful but seemed to be taking it's water from another source.

  He thought of his wife and could see her face as he replayed the last conversation he had with her on his cell phone before he lost reception.  "This will take her by surprise.  I need to talk to her first."  Jonah said out loud.  He could now see his breath as the wind caught his words and lifted them as they danced, taunting him as if they had recorded his voice.  "Get out while you can.  At what cost is all the success worth, Jonah?"  a voice whispered from behind him.  Jonah slowly turned only to see the trees wrestling with the the rhythmic wind.  He slowly lowered his head and said, "Lord?  Is that you?"  He sat still for a few short seconds that seemed like an hour and tried his best to listen for the voice to speak again.  He shortened his breath and tried his best not to drown out the voice if it decided to speak again.  Nothing.  He questioned whether he had heard the voice or not.  "Surely it was just in my head because I'm trying to convince myself of quitting."  Jonah stood to his feet and grabbed his aging Bible that sat next to him like an old friend, comforting him through this process of emotion and decision.  The night was cold but something about the moon brought warmth.  Maybe because it was bright and seemed to light up the campsite like a summer night.  Jonah could see about 25 yards in front of where had sat but the rest of the path to the campsite was clothed in the night.  As he walked to his tent he could see a little better by the light that glowed from the inside of one his minister's friends tents.  "What would Gabe think if I told him what I was thinking?" he asked himself as he stood next to Gabe's tent.  "Would it make any kind of sense to him?"  he thought. Jonah walked on to his tent that awaited to swallow him and keep him warm for the night.  

Jonah crawled into his tent and zipped the door behind himself.  He slowly turned the key to his lantern as it lit the fire inside and seemed to warm his soul as he watched the fire glow and flicker inside the glass.  As he prepared himself for bed, Jonah's mind rand wild with what his Pastor, who was also his boss would say.  He thought about what his friends would say and more than that what his dad would say.  Jonah hated to disappoint people but he knew that his thought process was taking him to that point.  After taking his shoes off and putting a hoodie on, Jonah slid into his sleeping bag that was cold from his absence.

  He laid in his tent and watched the lantern he had lit swing slowly from the wind that pressed outside.  His eyes began to droop and coax him into a sleep he had awaited as he began to think of the scripture he had read before the sun set that night.  Jonah began to recite the beginning to himself, " he who dwells in the shelter of the Most High..."  "Where was that?" he asked himself as the sleep was now too heavy on his mind for him to think of the scripture he had read.  Those few words ran from the front to the back of his mind like an annoying ball that would not stop rolling on the deck of a ship at sea.  Jonah opened his eyes to find the light of his lantern fading.  "I have got to find where that was."  Jonah sat up and began to search his Bible.  As he neared the middle from flicking from Revelation, he saw something from the top of his bible that distracted him. It seemed to move slowly with the small breeze that his page turning had created.  He moved the top of his bible towards what was left of the light as his mind conceived what was holding his attention.  It was a small red feather.  He quickly turned to the page it was on knowing that he had not stuck a red feather in the middle of his bible.  His mind raced thinking that this feather had some sort of connection to the voice he had heard earlier.  As he got to the page the black letters said, " A prayer of Moses, a man of God."  He looked to where the feather was lying and it rested on the words he had read earlier in the evening.  "Psalm 91." Jonah said. He read on a few verses from what he remembered and got to one that sent a small chill up his spine, "he will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge..."