Jeffery.

He was beautiful.  His need was real and honest.  He walked into our building, head lowered as he removed his work-worn hat that shaded his head from the sun that held him as slave for the day.  "I'm not from here.  I have nowhere else to go."  This was Jeffery.  Jeffery walked into our church building tonight and asked us for help.  "My wife is dying of cancer and she needs insulin for her diabetes."  Tears filled his eyes as he took a moment to gather himself into what seemed to be a vast wave of emotion that enveloped him to a point of suffocation.  "I really need your help...I have nowhere else to go."

I took Jeffery to the local Wal-Mart and as we walked in he looked at the grand-lit letters "WAL-MART" that looked down on him with much disgust only to find that the pharmacy had closed 13 minutes prior to our arrival.  His world was crushed and the feeling of failure rushed through his head to his cement covered boots.  Without much movement, Jeffery took a step in front of me and began to rub his balding-blonde head as he walked out to my car.

I've never felt this helpless.  I've never felt this hopeless.  There was not one thing I could do for him.  My attempts at telling him that there was hope and that there was a God that loved him were futile.  There may have been a seed planted but this seemed so much more grand than any christianese anicdote my training had prepared me for.  

We live in a fallen world.  Nothing makes sense to me after tonight.  I will go to bed in my warm bed, kiss my boys and my wife goodnight and dream dreams of safety and freshly mowed lawns.  I am so unworthy of the things I have.  Jeffery deserves better than this.  

Jesus said, "the poor will always be among you..." does that mean the rich and comfortable will be too?  This is way beyond what they taught me in Sunday School.  There is a disconnect.  Is there hope?

PS - Don't try and cheer me up.  I swear, if there are any posts with cheesy sayings or anything of that nature, you will hear from me...